I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
