I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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