If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
