the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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