I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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