Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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