So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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