I wish I could punch you in the face.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
