i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
