the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
