so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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