Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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