Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
