I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
