don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Farmville is her only friend.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
