I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
420 ftw
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Randomize
