so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm too high and old for this...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
