fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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