No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
