you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
