Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
