Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
