why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
