I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
