So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
