am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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