They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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