he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
