Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
