New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
