Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
