she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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