i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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