You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
