tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
