there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
