I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
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