I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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