Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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