Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
