Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
