I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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