it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
