well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
