Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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