I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
