I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
