Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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