I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
