I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize