In the future we'll all be gay
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
