She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
