Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didn't shave. On purpose
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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