he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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